


Through Dreams Come Truth

by cadkitten



Series: To Live A Dream [6]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Confessions, Confrontations, Emotional Sex, Ethical Hacking, Hacking, M/M, Secrets, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-07 01:16:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11612907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: He watched the telling embarrassment cross Damian's features, saw the way he emotionally started to tuck in on himself and he understood that response, too. Knew it had been all but bred into him to kill his emotions before they could really start, and he felt for Damian there, too. Some things weren't possible to just obliterate and it seemed like Damian had run headfirst into that with Tim.





	Through Dreams Come Truth

**Author's Note:**

> Another in the To Live A Dream series. This one directly correlates to events in "The Alignment of a Dream".  
> Beta: kate1zena  
> Song[s]: Various by The Weeknd

Tim cut the engine on his Audi, sighed as he slid out of the car, pocketing the keys and traipsing up the stairs to the manor. He'd been at work most of the morning, was more than a little annoyed with how the meetings had gone. Sometimes he truly wished it were acceptable for an adult to throw a temper tantrum when absolutely _nothing_ went their way. 

Three meetings, three dismal failures in the Tim Drake Wins department. To make it worse, one of them was nearly a requirement that he had to come out on top and given that he hadn't, he wasn't sure how thrilled Bruce was going to be about that. 

He hesitated at the door for a moment, thankful Alfred was apparently otherwise engaged so he had a moment to try to gather himself, to decide what he was going to say to Bruce. His hand rested on the wood, his head bowed as he dredged up the necessary words, finally taking a deep breath and squaring his shoulders, twisting the knob, and stepping into the foyer. As the door swung shut behind him and Tim's eyes adjusted to the dimmer light inside, he made out the imposing figure standing between him and the depths of the manor, arms crossed, a ticked off look on his face... and that _definitely_ wasn't the Wayne he thought he'd be interacting with.

Tim gave Damian a tired look, then toed off his shoes, and shoved his hands a bit further into his pockets. "Heard about the meetings I take it?"

Confusion lanced across Damian's face for an instant before he reined it back in, his irritation bristling further, the look reminding Tim of a cat with his hackles raised. "I have not. I suspect you took it upon yourself to fuck _that_ up as well?"

Blinking placidly at Damian, Tim didn't rise to the bait. He wasn't interested in fighting with him right then if it wasn't about the shit he'd messed up at work. Whatever it was, it could wait.

"You could say that. Bruce around?"

Damian's ire seemed to rise even further at the mention of his father and if Tim had been a bit more off his game, he would have taken a step back from the pure unadulterated anger in Damian's gaze.

"He is _out_."

Hitching one shoulder in a half shrug, Tim made his decision, skirting past Damian on the right, heading for the kitchen to see if, perhaps, he wasn't too late to grab some lunch from Alfred. The air shifted around him and Tim paused his steps a half second before Damian's hand lashed out to grab his bicep. He simply let it happen; he held no desire to truly get into it with Damian right then, and – rare as it was – he knew he'd just cave to whatever backhanded, asinine comment Damian wanted to spit at him next. He'd tell him he was right and move on.

Besides, sometimes it could be fun to take the wind out of Damian's sails.

"We need to _talk_."

Tim tilted his head. Unexpected. He'd thought for sure some rude comment about how unworthy Tim was of his position was going to pour from Damian's lips. Or perhaps some cutting remark about his lack of ingenuity in his latest addition to their network. Generally, Tim would have fought any of that, met Damian scream for scream, punch for punch, and it amused him to some degree that the one day he was willing to let Damian get it all out of his system without putting up a fight, Damian wasn't rip-roaring ready to fight him.

"About?"

A half sneer and then, "Your incompetence."

And there it was: the expected barbs in pretty much the exactly anticipated placement. "Please, tell me where I've failed _this time_." He kept his voice as level as he could, despite the inflection of exasperation at the end. It wasn't as if he hadn't heard that statement at least forty times since knowing Damian.

Damian kept his grip on Tim's arm as he turned and started to pull Tim with him toward the stairs. "Not here."

He didn't argue or struggle, just let Damian think he was dragging him up the stairs as they headed toward the second floor. Damian never kept their arguments private and that alone left Tim wondering what he was in for this time. What had he done lately that could have _possibly_ pissed Damian off in a manner that required him to yell at him in private? He couldn't think of a single slight he'd made toward him. In fact, they'd barely had any interaction since the night Dick had somehow convinced Damian to come be a part of Tim's little night.

He debated that for a moment, thought back to it and wondered if he'd done something wrong there on a level that had affronted Damian so badly he couldn't even confront him until now, but nothing came up. Things had gone a bit off-rails from how he'd thought they would have with Damian, but nothing so overtly horrible that Damian should have been pissed off over it. As it was, he thought they'd left on pretty good footing.

Damian shoved open the door to his own bedroom and Tim's shock was palpable. His footing stumbled and then he was inside, Damian shutting the door behind them and finally letting go of Tim. He crossed the room quickly, snatching up his tablet from his desk and coming back across the room, shoving it at Tim once he'd unlocked it. 

"This is unacceptable."

Tim took the tablet, gave Damian an odd look, and then glanced down at it, his breath sticking in his throat. There, splashed across the screen were the images he'd taken with Roy the other night. All of them incredibly explicit, all of them showing exactly who they were – at least who their _superhero selves_ were – and he felt his veins go to ice.

"Where did you get these?"

Damian snatched the tablet back, set it on the end of the bed, and crossed his arms, glowering at Tim. "I have all of our personal devices under surveillance as a precaution. Full monitoring statistics and any unusual activity provides a tip-off. You should know, you _wrote_ the damn program."

Tim felt the fear in his veins lay off a little and despite the slamming of his heart in his chest, he could breathe a bit easier. "Those were personal, Damian. Just between Roy, Jason, and me. No one else was _ever_ supposed to see them."

"Then one might wonder why you took them on someone else's phone or perhaps why you let them send them to you _unencrypted_. Do you have any idea how dangerous that was? Personal devices. Your uniforms on. _Both of you_ are compromised now." 

Damian's voice was rising with every single syllable, his anger verging on panic, and Tim could do nothing but stand there with his lips parted, every word he owned dying before it ever reached his tongue.

"We own your records because we own the company, but we do not own _his_!" 

Two of Damian's fingers jabbed the air in front of Tim's chest and there was true rage in Damian's eyes now. "You would compromise us _all_? For what? For a _fuck_?!" He advanced on Tim, gave him cause to actually back up half a step, shock filtering through him as Damian kept right on coming at him. "The whole world has to see this shit! No one wants to see who you're sleeping with!"

Just like that it hit Tim what Damian was actually mad about: he was angry that it wasn't him, that he had to see Tim with someone that wasn't himself. He'd come to Tim alone, had engaged with him alone, had left before he could be provided evidence of Tim taking the next person into his bed. Sure, the evidence of his other lovers had been inside him, but it could have been excused as lubrication, could have been fooled away if Damian had only let it.

A very distinct sort of pain lanced through Tim; left him feeling ashamed that he hadn't realized. Damian hadn't just agreed because he'd wanted to sleep with Tim, he'd agreed because there was something else underlying everything. 

Tim's features softened and he released a small little sigh. "You're right. I shouldn't have let him send them unencrypted or even take it on our personal phones. At worst, it should have been mine. I wasn't using my _brain_ to think with."

" _Are you ever_?" 

That comment had barbs, struck with the accuracy Tim was certain Damian had intended, and he winced. "So I'm a slut. What do you want from me?"

Silence fell in the room and for a moment, Tim was certain Damian was going to kick him out, but then Damian dropped down onto the edge of his bed, his fingers curling over the edge of the mattress, and his shoulders slumping slightly. "You are not a _slut_. Do not ever call yourself that again. That term is degrading, built to make an entire culture ashamed of their sexuality. You are very... sexually _active_ , but you are not a slut."

The change in Damian's demeanor gave Tim pause, left him feeling vaguely out of sorts. Closing his eyes for a moment, Tim sent off a plea for his patience, and then crossed the room, pulling out Damian's chair, turning it around backwards and sliding down onto it, straddling it and leaning his forearms on the back of it. His chin rested on his hands as he regarded Damian. 

"Can we talk about this like adults?"

For half a second, Tim was certain he was about to get yelled at and then Damian just clamped his mouth shut, nodded, though his hands were all but white-knuckling the bed now.

"I'd like it if would be honest with one another. Both of us. I'm as guilty as you are about hiding things."

"-tt-"

It was as much of an agreement as Tim knew he was going to get, but he'd take it.

"It was foolish of me to let Roy send those the way he did. I legitimately wasn't thinking with – uh – the proper brain and that's inexcusable." Tim took a breath, brought patience in with it and then slowly released it. "But what's done is done, I can't change it. I'll work on getting into the phone network's storage later and removing them, though unless one of us is brought in for something, I'm pretty sure no one will ever get wind of it beyond us."

Damian opened his mouth and Tim held up one hand, shifting in his chair. "Hang on... I know I was in the wrong. I'll own that. And I probably owe you an apology for not thinking about it pinging on the program's radar or how it would make you feel to be confronted with," he gestured toward the tablet, still open to the photos on Damian's bed, "well... _that_."

The change in the way Damian was holding himself was so obvious that Tim had to wonder if Damian was even trying to hold it back. He could see the way arousal colored his cheeks, the way his chest rose and fell just a touch faster, and he was fairly certain if Damian straightened up at all, he'd see the evidence of how it was affecting him below the belt just as easily.

While he'd suspected that perhaps emotions were involved, he hadn't quite expected the evidence that Damian had been wary to confront him about the photos sooner due to _other_ motivations. 

He debated his plays here, wondered if his initial idea to ask Damian why he was really mad was the right decision or if maybe he should let his cards fall a bit differently. He could simply get up and kiss him, see if it led to him being punched in the nuts or if they'd end up tangled in Damian's sheets. Or, he could continue their conversation like adults and just address the proverbial elephant in the room. 

His mind latched onto that and he closed his eyes, formulated his words, carefully pulled them apart and reassigned them to new sentences that were less confrontational than the ones he would have usually thrown out. Opening his eyes again, he studied Damian, waited until he glanced up at him, and then quietly murmured, "I really liked being with you."

He watched the telling embarrassment cross Damian's features, saw the way he emotionally started to tuck in on himself and he understood that response, too. Knew it had been all but bred into him to kill his emotions before they could really start, and he felt for Damian. Some things weren't possible to just obliterate and it seemed like Damian had run headfirst into that particular snare. 

"Look... I'm gonna be honest with you. No lies, no sugar coating anything, okay?"

Damian gave a tiny nod.

"I can't possibly understand everything going on inside you, but I can take a pretty good guess... and I'm fairly sure it's not anything new. Maybe just more blatant than before, but not _new_." He plunged onward, not giving Damian time to cut him off, not that he seemed to be trying to so much as interject. "I don't know how not to be awkward about it, so I'll just... be." Wincing slightly, he pointedly changed his gaze to Damian's knee instead, not wanting to invade his privacy any more so than he already was. "I have feelings for a lot of people. Sexual, romantic, not romantic... it's all over the spectrum. For years I fought that off and didn't allow myself what I really wanted, but Dick... he let me be free with it. He showed me what I could have by setting up that night for me after I confessed to him."

Tim raked his hand back through his hair. "I thought it was a kink until then, really. That I just wanted a bunch of people _once_ and that'd be it. But it's not. I just wanted to be _me_ and that fantasy... that was my mind screaming for it in the only way it knew how. I've wanted that since I was too young to be seeing the videos I was. Maybe it should have been obvious, but it wasn't. Now... now I'm free and it feels like so much pressure has been lifted off me."

He paused there, giving Damian a moment if he wanted to say something. When he didn't, Tim continued on, let himself address what he thought was going on with Damian. "I could be completely wrong, but I think maybe you have feelings for me beyond sexual. Maybe you have for a while and you just kept them hidden behind all the fake hatred. I want you to really hear me on this. Take me at exactly face value on this because I don't mean anything more or less than what I say." 

Tim let himself glance up at Damian's face, watched him as he spoke. "I care about you, a hell of a lot. I was crushed when you died, even way back then. And sure, I was angry and spiteful when Dick chose you over me to be his Robin, but I think the universe needed it to be that way. I needed to come into my own, I needed to focus on getting Bruce back, and the world needed me as what I became, not as who I was. Just like the world needed you to become who you are, who you wouldn’t be without that decision. I've watched both of us become completely different people from who we once were – from the bitter _children_ we were and maybe we need to leave our childish covers behind, too."

Pushing himself up, Tim moved to Damian, carefully settled himself on the bed next to him though far enough away not to be touching him or invading his personal space. "So here's the rest of my truth. That night with you surprised me. I thought for sure everything would be completely brutal, that it would be a hate-fuck in the truest sense of the word. I had thought I'd come out the other side bruised and in pain. Instead I saw what a beautiful person you've become, all the things I've missed because I couldn’t open my eyes beyond our past. I felt _loved_ while we were together and it was _incredible_. I'd give so much just to experience that again, to see you look at me like that, to open myself up to you the same way and honestly _share_ something together. If I'm right... if you do care about me like that, I'd be beyond thrilled to share it with you. But, I also need to be up front that I'm not a single-person kind of guy. It'd never be _traditional_. I can't do that to myself again."

Tim paused then, realizing how much of himself he was tossing out there, how little he was getting back, and he sort of clamped his mouth shut, embarrassed and suddenly uncomfortable. 

Damian's hand came to rest on his own, slowly turned Tim's hand, and then linked their fingers. "You meant it about laying it out there, didn't you?"

Tim let out a quiet breath that was the closest thing to a laugh he could manage at the moment, the whole thing feeling strangled in his throat. 

"Many of your assumptions are correct." Damian's hand tightened on his own and Tim could feel the tremors the tight grip was trying to mask. "I find this sort of thing very difficult to speak of."

"I know... I understand if you can't."

"No." Damian's next breath was shorter than the others, more audible. "I will give you in return what you provided me – the truth." 

Damian drew one leg up between them, brought Tim's hand and his own to rest on his knee. "I was more angry over the photos because it _wasn't me_ , not because you were compromising our security. I only thought of those repercussions as an afterthought to my initial anger. I believe it is what you would call jealousy."

Damian's fingers tightened a bit and then he relaxed his grip. "Seeing him with you reminded me that I would probably never allow myself to be with you again. I waited to confront you because I did not wish to lash out at you the way I would have. My words were tempered with time."

Silence fell between them and eventually Tim offered a quiet, "Very _adult_ of you."

Damian actually laughed and Tim gave him a startled look that only left heat in Damian's cheeks, that left him staring toward the window instead of at Tim. "You are a lot of things to me. As my predecessor, despite any misgivings we may have had in the beginning, I do respect what you did as Robin as well as who you have become as Red Robin. You are as much my mentor as Grayson. I have learned many of my electronics skills from you, not from any prior training."

Tim gave him a surprised look. "But how? I haven't taught you anything."

Damian shook his head minutely. "I started at the beginnings of your coding, worked my way up through all the changes you've made, how you work. I have watched you when you did not know it as you broke into systems, planted our bugs and how you were so meticulous to close things up on your way back out of whatever systems you worked your way into, repaired them better than when you went in so no one else could get in. You are the living breathing epitome of an ethical hacker: data for necessity, helping the little places when and where you can. I've seen you repair small franchises networks while you're eating in their establishment, adding firewalls to a start up bank and leave informational files on how to sure things up with places a big as Lexcorp."

"You've watched me that closely?"

"I watch all of your electronic footprint." Damian gestured at the tablet, which had finally gone dark. "That was inevitable. I have seen everything you have ever done on a computer or phone, even devices not your own. I can pick up a line of your code with accuracy I am certain the government would love to know about, match it to your particular brand of justice, and accredit you with things I am certain you have forgotten about."

A certain amount of embarrassment crept into Tim's demeanor and he could feel the faint heat in his cheeks and the very _real_ heat in his groin. Maybe it wasn't the usual reaction to being watched so particularly, but then again, he was the guy who'd stalked Batman and Robin so completely that he'd known their identities since he was a mere child.

"Incredibly flattered right now."

"Incredibly _turned on_ right now may be a more accurate statement."

Tim choked on his next breath, ducked his head, unable to keep the dopy grin off his face. "Yeah... caught me."

Damian squeezed his hand again and then let it go. "I am not in love with you. Not the way you think. I respect you in a manner I am not entirely comfortable with; respect who you are, what you can do, what you have taught me without ever meaning to. You are an actual genius and I never thought I would have the _pleasure_ to interact with someone on the sort of level that has opened itself to me since I agreed to show up that night."

Damian stood then, moving to put the chair back, to place his tablet on the desk, and then turned to regard Tim, his arms crossed lightly – less threateningly than earlier – over his chest. "I want a great many things from you. I want to actually learn by your side. I want to hold conversations like these and not be seen as _weak_ for them. I want someone to open up to, someone to care, and – yes – I want what we had sexually. I do not want a relationship, not with you or with anyone else, and I do not require some strange breed of _love_." There was hesitation in Damian's voice at his next words, as if it took a great effort for him to express them. "If you really meant what you said, I would like to be included in your... circle."

Everything in Tim's demeanor softened to the point that he was staring at Damian with the most adoring look on his face, knew it was as blatant as the sun shining in the sky. "I'll teach you anything I can, you only have to ask. I'd give anything to stop fighting with you and instead share things like this, and if you think I could somehow get through all that and not _want_ you again, you're wrong, because I'm not lying when I say it was _amazing_."

There was an awkward moment where both of them just stared at each other and then Damian dropped back to settle his rear against his desk, an exhausted sort of breath leaving him. "This sharing thing is draining."

Tim huffed out a laugh, letting himself flop back on Damian's bed. "This _day_ has been exhausting. I fucked up all three of those meetings and I'm gonna be in such _shit_ with Bruce." 

"Anything I can do?" It was tentative, so quiet that Tim almost missed it. 

He stared at the ceiling in surprise for a moment. "Unless you can change the damn vote for the Paxton bill, then no, not really."

Damian gave a quiet hum and then cleared his throat. "How many votes was it vetoed by?"

"Three."

Tim could hear Damian rustling around, heard the tap of his fingers on the tablet. "By chance were any of those three Lacy, Hollensworth, Patterson, or Noghton?"

Sitting up, Tim gave Damian a surprised sort of look. "All of them were on the opposing side."

"Unsurprising. I have Patterson under investigation for accepting bribes from the water authority and Noghton is just a piece of shit all the way around. We could use any number of things to bring him to our side, we would only have to lay on him with his wife around. Lacy is an easy sway, just pay him off under the table and he will change sides in a heartbeat. Start small, he does not seem to understand how much money he could be getting. Hollensworth is harder because I do not have solid evidence, but if any of my suspicions are right, we could bring him over with a few well-placed words."

Tim blinked at Damian. "You have dirt on all of the board?"

"-tt- I have dirt on everyone any of us have ever interacted with, _especially_ people within our company. Just because I do not help run it does not mean I do not meddle."

"You really are a piece of work."

"I think that's the first time I have ever heard that statement used as a compliment." Damian gave Tim a tiny little smile and Tim swore his heart was going to beat right out of his chest. That look that had once been reserved only for Dick now seemed to be allowable with him as well and well, _that_ was everything.

"How much do you think I need to sway Lacy?"

Damian clicked around a bit and then shrugged. "Make his car debt evaporate and I think that should do it. Looks like it is about nine grand right now."

"Small change in comparison to what Paxton could do."

"A lot of things are going to come up small in comparison to that. You've been working years on this..."

Tim stared at Damian, at a complete loss for words. He had been working it for years, but even Bruce didn't know that. He'd thought no one did, _except_... it had all been on his hard drives, all of his work over the past five years, across so many systems that with the meticulousness Damian had been combing through his digital footprint with, it would have been obvious. He was quiet for a moment, letting it really hit him how much Damian actually knew. 

All his private social media accounts where he confessed some of his darkest secrets, the people he'd talked to when he was trying to find his place in his own sexuality, every conversation, every plea for help, and he allowed it all to align with things that had seemed utterly random at the time. One incident in particular hit him hard and he fought to keep his tears back as the reality of it hit him.

"You saved me." The words came out tiny, barely leaving him past the agony in his throat. "You sent Jason to me that night, didn't you?"

Damian's fingers quieted on the tablet, only the sound of their breathing for a moment. There was a quiet sigh and then the sound of the tablet settling on the desk. "I've sent a very direct sort of threat to Hollensworth from a very difficult to trace email account. He should be on your side within the hour. I'll let you deal with Lacy and Robin will pay Noghton a visit tonight. You're not going to win over Patterson on this one."

The bed dipped and Damian's warmth pressed up against Tim's side, slid along his back as Damian settled mostly behind him and began rubbing his hands over his shoulders. "To answer your question... yes, I did. I never meant to delve into your private life so deeply and the fact that I saw that account was an accident, though I cannot say I regret it." 

Damian's mouth pressed against his shoulder, through the fabric of his button-up shirt. "Nothing could stop me from making sure I kept track of it after that night... I hope you understand."

"I do." Tim shifted back towards Damian, eased back against his chest with a sigh, relaxed when Damian put his arms around him. "Without you..." he could feel Damian's nod, knew he didn't have to address the demons of his past any further. It had been a long time since he'd been that bad off, since he'd found the right dosages of the right medications to regulate. He felt the agony of the past slowly recede and he let his head rest on Damian's shoulder, feeling almost as at ease here as he'd felt in Clark's arms. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined Damian would be _protection_ , but here he was.

"I still have to face Bruce."

"Father will be out until nearly ten this evening. All bill votes are not fully finalized until midnight. There is time."

Tim shifted against Damian, felt the tugging desire to give in to himself as he rested there. Closing his eyes, he allowed the fantasy for a moment. He imagined Damian's hands on him in a much different way, imagined one cupping his hardening cock, another slipping up under his shirt, slowly teasing his nipple. He imagined the warmth of Damian's breath against his neck, the heat of his kisses against his flesh, and he imagined the trust it would take from both of them for it to go further right here in Damian's bed. 

He dredged up images of Damian gently laying him down, of his body over Tim's own, arms braced on either side of him, his hands in Damian's hair, Damian buried deep inside him, and he felt the hot rush that those images provided him in reality. 

As much as he wanted all of that, he also felt like it needed to be Damian making the advance on him, like it would be pushing things if he did it, especially so soon after they'd opened up to one another. He wanted to stay right where he was just as much as he felt the need to pull away to gather himself, to not allow his body to betray him so openly. 

Damian's fingers splayed over his abdomen, rested there ever so gently, and then his lips were pressed right below Tim's ear. "You'd better be thinking about me."

Tim's laugh was breathy, barely qualifying as laugh. "Trust me... I am."

Damian hummed against his skin, slid his fingers up and caught ahold of one of the buttons on his shirt, slowly popped it open. "Is this what you want?"

" _Yes_." Arousal flooded Tim in an instant, left him arching his hips, his cock swelling in the confines of his slacks. "Want _you_."

"Tell me what you want." Damian's fingers traveled upward, unfastening buttons as they went.

"This. I want this."

He could feel Damian's smile. "Specifics."

"I want to feel the sort of care it took for you to send him to me that night."

Damian's hands paused and then continued until Tim's shirt was open, until his hands were splayed over Tim's chest. "You will always have that. Tell me what will make you _feel_ that way."

Tim's hips rolled and he fought it for a second before giving in and letting himself whine, a fragile little thing that belayed how desperately he needed this, just like he needed everything else he'd been allowing himself lately. "Need you over me. I need to _feel_ you." He gasped softly as Damian moved them, eased them down onto the bed, shifted until he had one leg between Tim's thighs, until he was pressed right up against Tim's hip, letting him feel how this was affecting him as well. When Tim's hips strained upward again, Damian's hand slid down to cup him, just lightly holding the bulge of his cock through his slacks, letting Tim work against his hand. 

Tim choked on his own moan, feeling the desperation rising inside him, feeling the desire to let go of certain things he thus far hadn't, and finally going with it, jerking his hips up against Damian's hand as he nearly sobbed at the frustration of it not being enough, not being _close enough_ to Damian. He felt like he wanted to crawl inside him, wanted to nestle between his ribs and learn him as much as he possibly could from this new angle. He wanted to know everything he could share with him like this, to understand him in ways he never had before, and he felt an urgency he couldn't shake.

Damian rested his forehead on Tim's shoulder, kissed the skin within his reach as he held Tim a bit more firmly, stroked him until Tim's hips were bucking against his hand. "Do you want me to lead?"

Tim's hands were in his hair in a second, pulling him until he got his attention so he could nod, not trusting his voice again just yet. His back arched and he held back a strained cry, felt like he was breaking and not fully understanding why, though the look in Damian's eyes told him that he did, that what Tim couldn't grasp, Damian already had, and he allowed there to be trust in that, allowed himself the almost pained cry that left his throat and accepted that it was that sound that spurred Damian into moving.

His mind was almost dimly aware of his clothing being removed, of the fact that he still had his shirt on even after all of the rest was gone, and it felt like it took monumental effort to even focus on the way Damian's fingers stretched him. It felt like both a million years and mere seconds before Damian was over him, pressing between his thighs, before Tim snapped back to normal and Tim hauled in air like it was his first breath, clutched Damian like he was the only thing there to save him, and he didn't fight it when, " _Please_ ," was the only thing that wanted to free itself from his lips.

Damian's lips found his just as he pressed up into Tim and the moan they shared between them was for the same reason, was for the tidal wave of pleasure that followed the action, and Tim found himself gasping, clutching at Damian as he started a slow rock of their hips, as the bed barely creaked beneath them.

It was quite possibly the slowest Tim had ever been taken, was one of the most emotional things he'd ever experienced, and somewhere distantly, he realized – just as he had before – that this was how it had always needed to be with them.

There was so much passion in the way Damian kissed him, in every movement of his body against Tim's. Not a single second was wasted or discarded with him and Tim thought perhaps it was that fact that allowed him to wrap himself up in Damian and just _exist_. He felt a different sort of freedom than he had with any of the others, felt needed and wanted in a way he couldn't quite put words to, and he brought Damian closer for it, opened himself emotionally as much as he was physically, and accepted Damian's brand of love into his heart, let it warm him down to the tips of his toes.

The world outside their little bubble was quiet, filled with only the house settling on itself, the faint breeze outside the window, and the delicate creak of the bed springs at their gentle movements. He could tell Damian was getting more and more excited, could feel it in the way his muscles held more strain, in the way his breathing picked up as he pressed his face against Tim's neck, could hear it in the tiny grunts of need Damian was letting him hear. 

Tim let his head fall back, pressed both hands into Damian's hair and arched, letting his cock strain between them, letting his breath hold for a moment as he hovered on the edge of orgasm, trembling faintly for his effort, and then Damian's hand slid down between them, took him in hand and simply held him, and it was all Tim needed. He let out a soft cry, a barely there sob of Damian's name, and then his entire body was flushing with his orgasm, heat and then cool rushing through him as he started to cum.

" _Drake_." Damian's voice sounded strained, absolutely desperate. His thrusts came fast suddenly, still short and barely pulling him out of Tim's body, but the snap of his hips was faster, the way the springs creaked beneath them so quick it didn't sound like one was ending before the next began, and then Damian was crying out and it was so much more than Tim had ever thought it would be with him. It was loud and so truly filled with desire that Tim clutched at him, something instinctual telling him to protect Damian through this, to be the conscious one while Damian rode out whatever this was, while he continued to thrust, continued to call out fractured, _broken_ pieces of words until he was shaking over Tim and then his cock was pulsing deep inside Tim's body, filling him with everything Damian had for him.

Damian kept moving, though achingly slowly all the way through his orgasm, after it until he let out a broken little breath and tucked his head down against Tim's chest as he stopped moving. 

Remembering last time, Tim moved his hands soothingly over Damian's shoulders and upper back, making sure to keep full contact, not to move too lightly and overstimulate him. He kept himself still, not jerking up against him or flexing himself around him as he might have done with other lovers. He could still hear the strained word of _sensitive_ echoing in his memory, understood it was both physical and emotional for Damian and that he had to tread lightly here if he wanted to keep him by his side in the aftermath. 

Slowly, he felt Damian's strain ease, felt him start to come down, to actually start to pant for his breath, and he wondered where Damian had gone to calm himself down afterward, if he'd gone to be alone or if he'd gone to someone, and he briefly mourned that he hadn't known enough for it to be him at the time. 

Damian took exceeding care in pulling out, huffing out a startled breath as he slid free, shuddering over Tim and then very gently extracting himself from his arms, drawing himself up to sit beside Tim, his hands on the bed and his knees draw up against him. "Need.... a minute."

Tim gave him that, remained quiet and passive, not offering his touch or his words for the moment, just watching as Damian pieced himself back together. He could see the exact second that Damian slid back into the part of himself he was most comfortable with and he realized just how much Damian was sharing with him to rip down all those walls for him. 

Tim laid his hand close to Damian, palm up, and he waited, watched as Damian finally placed his hand within Tim's own. "Thank you for not leaving."

Damian nodded, turned his head to study Tim, and he looked so very tired. Like this had taken everything out of him, and Tim allowed his concern to show, watched the barest hint of a smile grace Damian's lips before he turned away to look at the far wall.

"I'm fine, you know."

Tim squeezed his hand, rolled onto his side and stared up at him. "What we shared... it's beautiful." He watched the embarrassment cross Damian's features, saw him swallows hard before he nodded.

"It is."

" _You're_ beautiful. The amount of care and love you put into that..." Tim shook his head a little, brought Damian's hand to lips and kissed the back of it lightly. "You touched something inside me that needed to be touched like that."

Damian nodded and Tim smiled against his hand. "This is ours, you know... this one thing I don't have with anyone else. I don't think I ever will."

Damian turned back to him then and there was a brightness in his eyes that Tim had never seen there before. "I gave you something you did not have."

"Yeah, you did." He let his emotion fill his voice, let Damian see every ounce of vulnerability in him, opened himself up so completely he felt naked for the first time in his life, and he just let Damian study him that way until he saw the barest nod and then Damian was crawling off the bed.

"You'd better get a move on Lacy or he'll be with his kids. It's his night for dinner with them." Damian paused on his way toward the bathroom. "Come to think of it, just offer to make a college fund for one of them. It's less seedy, I bet you'll get your way, and you'll make him think twice about what sort of bribes he's accepting from people."

Tim smiled, watched Damian slip into the bathroom and took a deep breath once the door was closed behind him. Even as he gathered up his own clothing and slipped out of Damian's room and down the hallway to his own, he thought about how much a single action could change everything. One misstep and a bill was in the trash, but a few properly placed ones and he could technically change the lives of a few people on the board. Someone on the cusp of being trash, he could tip back over and those who were too far gone, they could put the lean on them in all the right places to make them think twice. And with Damian... they could change everything.


End file.
